Dear Annie: Promise rings - the forgotten pre-engagement tradition - syracuse.com

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Nov 08, 2024

Dear Annie: Promise rings - the forgotten pre-engagement tradition - syracuse.com

An expression of love. (Getty Images)Getty Images Dear Annie: I read your column from the 16-year-old girl, “Love Wins,” who asked if it was OK to get secretly engaged to her boyfriend, both of them

An expression of love. (Getty Images)Getty Images

Dear Annie: I read your column from the 16-year-old girl, “Love Wins,” who asked if it was OK to get secretly engaged to her boyfriend, both of them still in high school. I agree with your assessment that if something this important has to be a secret, something’s wrong.

I wanted to add that the practice of a promise ring is a forgotten tradition from only a few generations back. A boy about her boyfriend’s age would give his high school sweetheart an inexpensive ring and then they’d wait a couple of years to actually get engaged.

This act gives the couple a chance to get into the real world together and see what being an adult couple -- with jobs, a college education, hobbies and goals that don’t always align -- is like. It would also be something that’s publicly shared. Maybe “Love Wins” should go this route? -- Married Young, Two Decades On

Dear Married Young: Thank you for your letter. A handful of other readers wrote in with the same sweet suggestion. I agree the intention behind a promise ring would capture the love these two feel for each other but without having to hide it or rush into a lifelong commitment until they are older and fully ready to do so -- the perfect next step.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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